Total Drama Hetalia
by Eaglestarisawesome5
Summary: Ok, I know there's like 15,000 of these, but I wanted to add to that. Rated T in case things get messy.


**_Guys, help me start updating things instead of posting new things! D:_**

Chris stood on the docks of Camp Wawanakwa, grinning and holding a clipboard. He cleared his throat and looked to the camera.

"Welcome back to Camp Wawanakwa for another season of Total Drama! Our old cast and new cast have gotten the boot this season to make way for some very special victims. These contestants will be introducing you to different cultures from around the world, from America all the way to Japan!" Suddenly, the sound of a motor cut through the air as a boat pulled up to the dock. "And here they are now! For our first contestant, everyone's favorite pasta-loving scatterbrain...Feliciano!"

A scrawny man with ginger hair and closed eyes skipped off of the boat and waved to the camera. "Ciao! I'm Feliciano Vargas! But you can call me Feli!" Feli's curl bounced as he hopped up and down, obviously excited.

"Feliciano, stop bouncing! You'll break ze dock, you dumkoff!"

"Our next contestant, Ludwig!" Chris announced. A tall, sturdy-looking blonde man walked up to Feli and smacked him upside the head. Feli whimpered, then latched onto Ludwig's waist(which he did not approve of).

"Our next contestant is-ACK!" Chris ducked as a katana flew past his head and got stuck in the far side of the dock. A short man with black hair and a kimono leaped out of the boat, seeming flustered. "I-I'm terribry sorry, Chris-san. I was just practicing my _Iaijutsu _when a certain _someone_ decided to intervene."

"Yo, sorry Chris! Didn't mean to nearly kill you, dude. Hahaha!" A man with short blonde hair, glasses, and an apparent cowlick ran out to stand beside his friend. Chris looked annoyed for a moment, then smiled. "Kiku and Alfred!"

"That's Alfred F. Jones to all viewers out there!" Alfred grinned and put an arm around Kiku, who made a strange noise and squirmed. "I'm gonna win this with my awesome hero skills!"

"Would you stop ranting about bloody heroes for five seconds, you git?!" another person yelled, walking out with his arms crossed. His shaggy blonde hair bounced as he did so, failing to cover the humongous fuzzy stripes above his eyes.

"And we have Arthur!"

"Alfred, let go of Kiku, you're frightening him! Haven't you ever heard of the words 'personal space'?"

"What's that? Some weird private NASA rocket?"

"Ugh! You're insufferable!"

"Love ya too, Iggy."

"DON'T CALL ME IGGY!"

"Anyways!" Chris interrupted, shoving in between the two. "Our next contestant, Francis!"

A man with long blonde hair and a slight stubble on his chin came out of the boat and stood beside Arthur, resting an arm on his head. "Ohonhonhon, lookz like we're in ziz together Angleterre!"

"Get your hands off me, you bloody frog!"

"Francis, please refrain from molesting people on this show. Let's welcome the next victim!"

"I don't like this place, aru. It gives me the chills! Wait...it's not the island that's-NYEEEHHH!" a man with a dark brown ponytail shrieked as two strong arms wrapped around his shoulders.

"Aw, don't be scared, Yao! It's me, Ivan!" The culprit said in a cheery voice. His long coat and scarf nearly dragged the ground and his silvery hair glowed in the sunlight.

_That's why I'm scared..._ Yao muttered under his breath.

"Yao and..." Chris shuddered. "...Ivan."

"_Privet_, Chris! I assume this is where we are staying, da? But...it doesn't look like the brochure..."

"Moving on. The only reason I would allow this next contestant is because we have editors with censor buttons, so here's Lovino!"

"What the *bleep*?! This isn't ze place! You *bleep*, take us back right now!" Lovino, who looked a lot like Feli, but with darker hair and open eyes, growled.

"Lovino, I know your standards, but please at least _try_ to limit the cursing."

"AND WHY IS THE POTATO *bleep* HERE?! GET AWAY FROM MY FRATELLO!" Lovino yelled, pushing in between Ludwig and Feli.

"Zat boat ride vas completely unawesome!" said an albino man with pale silver hair and blood-red eyes as he walked off of the boat.

"And our final contestant, Gilbert!"

Gilbert grinned and struck a pose. "None of you peeps can be as awesome as me!"

"Alright! Now that we've got everyone together...wait...wasn't there someone else supposed to be here?" Chris rubbed his temple, puzzled.

"I'm right here, eh..."

Chris jumped and turned around to see a man with medium length blonde hair and glasses standing behind him.

"Oh yeah! And this is...um..."

"I'm Matthew!" Matthew stomped a foot in frustration and walked off to sulk beside Alfred.

"Don't worry, bro, they'll notice you someday!" Alfred encouraged, putting a hand on Matthew's shoulder.

"Like I was saying. Now that we've got everyone together, I would like to bring in our 3 bonus contestants!"

"Bonus? What do you mean?" Arthur asked.

"I mean that I made a survey online to see which girls are the biggest fangirls of Hetalia and brought the top 3 along to compete!"

"WHAT?!"

"And here they are now!" Chris announced as a second boat pulled up to the dock. "First, we have our 3rd place fangirl! Lovino, you might wanna hide behind something, because here she is! Ashley!"

A young girl, about 16-ish, came strolling out of the boat. Her long brown hair fluttered in the breeze as she walked, smiling and waving. "Hi guys! Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm actually here!" She looked around and a slight expression of bewilderment came across her face. "If Feli's here...shouldn't there be someone else with him?"

Lovino cursed under his breath and ducked behind the closest person, who just so happened to be Francis. The taller man reached behind him and Lovino shrieked, leaping out and falling on his stomach on the dock. Ashley gasped. "Romano!" Lovino was at his feet in a second and began to back away from her. "No, don't you dare *bleep*ing hug me! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" He screamed and ran as Ashley lunged for him, arms outstretched.

"Our next 2nd place bonus, an all-American gal, Tori!" Chris waved in a short girl with short curly brown hair. She looked around and squealed like a happy baby, bouncing up and down as she looked at her new friends. "Ohmygodohmygodohmygod hi guys!" she squeaked. Suddenly, her eyes locked on Alfred and she dove forward, latching onto the blonde and holding him tight. Alfred grinned at the others around him. "Looks like I got a new gal!"

"And finally, the #1 crazy, caffeinated, sugar high, hyper fangirl, who's probably going to give Matthew a heart attack," Matthew's eyes went wide and he slowly moved to hide behind his brother and Tori.

"IF YOU DON'T LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW I'LL RIP TO YOU PIECES AND STICK THOSE PIECES IN A PAPER SHREDDER" came a shrill voice from the boat.

"...Waaaiiit for it!..."

"NYEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"Lacey!"

Suddenly, another young girl with short blonde hair burst from the boat and streaked down the walkway, emitting a high-pitched noise that made the crowd gathered on the dock slap their hands over their ears. She bounced as she ran, the cowlick on the back of her head bouncing along with her. "OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODICANTBELIEVEIMACTUALLYHEREIL OVETHISSHOWANDILOVEHETALIAAND..." She suddenly stopped in her rapid-fire blubbering and stood unnaturally still, noticing a certain loop-de-loop curl poking out from behind Alfred. "Is...that...CANADA?!" Her wide smile stretched up past her ears and her blue eyes went wide. Matthew squeaked in surprise as Alfred pushed him forwards and very slowly made his way up to the spazzing girl. "H-h-hi?" he whispered, barely even making any sound at all.

"Caaanaaaadaaaaaaaaaaaa?!" Lacey squealed, trembling and making small excited noises. Matthew nodded and held out a hand for a handshake. Lacey reached up her own hand and placed it into his, breathing hard. Suddenly, her eyes rolled back in her head and she collapsed into Matthew's arms, making the male squeak and instinctively embrace her. He held her close for a moment or two, then promptly dropped her when he heard a certain French laugh from the crowd.

"Anyways, enough with the introductions! It's time to begin your orientation!" Chris announced, clapping his hands to get everyone's attention and to wake up Lacey. "As a few of you may know, there was a little..._waste _problem last season, but we got it cleaned up. Unfortunately, some of the mutant creatures got left behind and are still roaming around the island. Like...that one!" Chris looked up as a goose/pterodactyl swooped down and grabbed the burger that Alfred had began munching on. "Hey! My burger!" Alfred yelled, grabbing one of the creature's legs and dragging it down to him. "Don't. Take. My. Food." he growled, shoving his face close. The mutant whimpered and cowered, bringing it's feathered wings in like a shield. Alfred's eyes softened and he smiled. "Aww, you're cute! Sorry I yelled at ya, little guy." Alfred let go of the thing's leg and handed it the rest of the burger. It made a happy noise and gulped the thing down. Then it leapt onto Alfred's shoulder and nuzzled into the crook of his neck. "It likes me!"

Meanwhile, the crowd had moved to the complete opposite side of the dock and Chris was continuing his speech. "Both teams will get the same brand of cabins, but the winning team's members will each get something to get them through the night. Whether it be food, an item, or another contestant, we'll get it for you. You can also tell the audience something through the confessionals in those neat little outhouses over there! Go knock yourselves out."

(**Bold **means confessionals)

**Arthur: ...Why am I here again?**

**Alfred: Now I got a totally awesome new friend! Isn't that right, Burger?**

**Tori: I'm so excited! I've always wanted to be sitting here! ...I mean, doing a confessional, not a number 2.**

**Lovino: *bleep***

**Feli: Pastaaaaaa!**

**Gilbert: Zis place is really unawesome.**

**Ivan: _Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol..._**

"And now that we've got everything covered, let's start the first challenge!" Chris started to walk away.

"Wait! What about the teams?" Ashley called after him.

"Oh yeah. Thanks for reminding me. Since this season has to do with the globe, your teams will have special names. Feli, Ludwig, Kiku, Lovino, Ashley, Yao, and Ivan. You guys are the Latitude Leopards!"

The more enthusiastic members of the team cheered and bounced, but the others remained silent.

"Alfred, Arthur, Matthew, Lacey, Tori, Francis, and Gilbert, you're the Longitude Lizards!"

As before, the happier members of the team hooted and hollered.

"Now come on, we're wasting daylight!" Chris hopped in a jeep and began driving up the enormous hill.

**_Aaaaand that's it for now. More soon!_**


End file.
